Too Late for the Truth
by Fogged Tears
Summary: (Slash) Butters is suffering at the hands of the one he loves, but is Cartman's teasing and tormenting genuine, or is he hiding his own deep feelings for Butters?
1. Butters' POV

**Butters' Point of View**

**A/N: **This story alternates from the point of view from Butters and Cartman each chapter. This chapter it's in Butters' point of view, next chapter it'll be Cartman's, then the next chapter Butters', etc. I'll title each chapter with whose point of view it is so... yeah, please read and review!:D

* * *

"You're such a little homo, Butters," Cartman sneered.

"Why are you _alive_? No one even likes you!" Kyle joined in, as the four of the usual gang laughed at me.

"Yeah, why don't you go kill yourself? Make the world a better place...." Stan snickered as I sprinted away, but I heard Kenny's voice as I ran.

"He's so much fun to torment."

**chapter one**

I remember when they were my friends... and I'm normally such a happy person, I can usually let their insults bounce off of me, but it stings when it comes from... _him. _Half my life I've secretly admired Eric Cartman, which is the most twisted thing in the world. Didn't he spend his _entire _life trying to screw me over?

But why? Why am I his primary target?

_Because I am a little fag, _a sad voice in my head answered my own question. But it wasn't fair... I had never done anything to them. I had always been so _nice._ I stopped running and looked around, confused, trying to figure out where I was.

"Oh, no..." I sighed sadly, suddenly aware that I was at Tom's Rhinoplasty, which was a fair distance away from my house. "Oh, gosh, it's going to be a long walk home...." So slowly I set back off, just crossing my fingers that I didn't run into the four again on my way back.

Apparently, God doesn't know what crossing your fingers means.

I'd only been walking a couple of minutes when I saw them heading my way. I quickly hid behind a group of trash cans in a nearby alley, shutting my eyes and stupidly thinking _I can't see them so they can't see me. _But they actually didn't notice me, though they did come down the alley and I inwardly groaned.

I could outrun Cartman, but Kenny was fast as lightning, and as Cartman's best friend and a fellow member of the "I Hate Butters" club, he'd be able to catch me easily. How long would they stay here? But as I heard one of them lean against one of the trash cans, hope that they were just quickly passing by faded from my mind. This seemed to be a usual hangout spot for them.

"Did you see him run?" I heard Cartman's voice say with a laugh.

"I bet he went off and cried," Kenny chimed in, and my blood ran cold. They were talking about me.

"He's such a gay-ass pussy," Kyle laughed.

"Damn right he is," Stan agreed.

"You know, I sometimes wonder about you," Cartman joked, referring to Kyle.

"You suck, fatass."

"Right back at you, Jew."

"Anyways," Kenny said impatiently, "how can we get him tomorrow?"

* * *

Forty some minutes later, when they had finally departed, I made my way home. The only good thing that could be said about the day was that I could know how to avoid their torture tomorrow thanks to overhearing their conversation. When I opened the door, my parents were sitting in the living room, frowning at me.

"Where have you been, mister?" My mom snapped angrily. "You don't have any friends, why didn't you come home when school ended?"

"Son... were you doing drugs?" My father asked slowly. "Because if you are... we're going to disown you."

_Gee, that'd be a good way to get me to say I was doing them._

"N-no... I w-was j-just... hangin' out...."

"Go to your room, young man!" My mom yelled, and my dad frowned even more as I headed slowly up the stairs. He hated me ever since he lost the money he would've made by selling me to Paris Hilton.

Jerk.

I opened the door to my room and flopped down immediately on the bed, looking sadly at two pictures I had taped to the wall. The first was of me, Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny mooning the camera back when we were friends. The second was me and Pip last year on Valentines Day, me kissing Pip on the cheek. It hadn't meant anything, we had just both been lonely and he was my best friend, but Cartman had still tried to blackmail me with it (he was the one who took the picture), and after he was done, he'd just given it to me.

Of course, I had to tap-dance for him before he'd give it to me, which resulted in one of Kenny's deaths....

But it was sad that in my entire life I'd only had five friends, four of which I lost very soon after.

* * *

The next morning dawned, and I would've been cheery if I hadn't been dreading going to lunch. As I went out to my bus stop I kept fidgeting with my hands out of nerves. I'd just have to skip lunch, but we don't go to a big school, so it'd be easy if they really cared to come find me....

The bus pulled up and I got on, instantly noticing the only four people who got on before me. Kenny, Stan, and Kyle were situated at the very back of the bus, but Cartman was in one of the first seats and as I started to walk past him, he grabbed my arm and pulled me to sit down next to him.

"Why the scared look, Butters? It's just _me _wanting to sit with you."

This might've seemed to an unknowing onlooker a normal sight, but I knew much better. Though I desired nothing more to sit next to Cartman and be with him, I knew his intentions would not be the same. He was up to something, and I glanced backwards, wondering if his friends were watching.

They weren't. So I stayed seated, maybe he wasn't going to completely humiliate me right now... because he surely would've told his friends to watch to see his prank.

"Um... so... how are you, Cartman?"

"Call me Eric." That struck me as odd, hardly anyone called him Eric.

"Oh, er, o-okay, E-Eric...." I hate this stupid stutter. But it happens every time I'm nervous.

"So, Butters, I had a question that might be a bit weird to you... but will you please give me a truthful answer?" Not only did he throw me an adorable smile, that was also the first time I'd ever heard him say 'please.'

"S-sure, Eric...." Despite myself, I was starting to smile back, and I thought I felt my cheeks get a little red but I hoped he didn't see.

"Butters... are you gay?"

My eyes widened a bit as he asked and my mind was rushing trying to think of what the right answer would be. Was he asking in hopes to get proof to make fun of me even more? Or was... was he asking because he's gay and... and he wants to know if I am, too? I'm not ashamed of who I am, but I don't know if I could stand the ridicule that would follow. Why couldn't it have been anyone else asking me?

His smile was overpowering.

"Would... would you think it was... b-bad if I am?"

"No, of course not, Butters! So are you?" He pressed, clearly wanting me to say yes before he would drop it.

"Well... y-yes, I am."

There was an eruption of laughter from the back of the bus. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny hadn't been watching... but they'd definitely been listening. My horrified face made Eric laugh, too, and I buried my face into my hands and, without even moving from the person who brings this pain onto me, I cried.


	2. Cartman's POV

**A/N: **Remember, this chapter is written in **Cartman's** point of view. Don't want to confuse anyone. Please review! :)

* * *

I felt _horrible _for making Butters cry. I had perfected fake laughing at Butters' pain around my friends, but each time I hurt him it killed me a little inside. But never had I made him _cry _before. I wanted to burst out into tears, too, and hold him.

But I laughed and teased him instead. Kenny had almost pissed his pants laughing, and I wondered why I had such a horrible best friend. I know I'm just as bad with some things, but Butters doesn't deserve the way we treat him.

But only I think that.

"I just can't believe he ditched school because he was so ashamed!" Kyle laughed gleefully as we sat down at lunch.

"Yeah... but if only he could've made it through lunch, it would've been fun putting him in one of the cafeteria trash cans...." Kenny replied with a false sigh, it might've been real if he hadn't been so amused by the fact that Butters really was a fag.

"He definitely would've left after _that, _can you imagine having all of this repulsive food on you?" Stan said with a wrinkled nose.

"Y'know what _I _think..." Kenny said suddenly, his gaze fixed on what seemed to be a table a few away, but it was hard to tell which one he was looking at. "I think..." Kenny's grin was widening, "he might have a thing for _Pip._"

"_Pip?"_ I blurted out, and tried to recover before any of them got suspicious. "Wow, uh, yeah... could be, they always spend so much time together...." Kenny raised an eyebrow. He was best at seeing through me. But he didn't say anything about it.

"Yeah... we should throw them a wedding." Kenny was laughing again, quite pleased with his thought.

"But... it'd be two brides, no groom," said Kyle with a frown. "How would that work?"

* * *

The only good thing that could be said for the day was that I knew for sure Butters was gay, which gave me a fleeting ray of hope, even if I'd never stand a chance after all the shit I put him through. But now Kenny had me considering Pip as another obstacle....

I groaned and laid down on my bed, trying to figure out when everything had turned upside-down.

Maybe it was the fact that he was never horrible to anyone even when they really deserved it... he never made anyone cry after all, did he? He never tried to break anyone's heart just for a laugh... he's such a good person. Who would've known I'd be attracted to the _good _kid?

I mean, it would make sense if I had a thing for _Kenny, _he's a lot more like me, but... Butters? No one would ever think that. Which was a good thing, because my life would be officially over if anyone knew. That was why I never even told my best friend that I'm gay.

"I should stop living a lie," I told myself aloud, wanting myself to believe it. But I couldn't. It would be too hard to be myself. A smile twitched on my face.

_Butters is always himself. And it got him people like me ragging on him._

I don't think I could deal with myself tormenting me.

* * *

The next morning was Friday, which meant that the usual four of us would be having a sleep over, tonight at my house. When I went out to the bus stop, that was the first thing they said to me.

"So we should drop by at around four, right?" Kenny asked, while peering around the corner for the bus.

"Yeah, four's good," I nodded, "where's that friggin bus?"

"Cartman, you've been here for about five seconds, stop being such a wuss," Kyle rolled his eyes at me, to which I flipped him off.

"Doesn't matter how long any of us have been standing here, there it is," Stan pointed out as the bus pulled up to the stop, and we all got on hastily. We were always the first stop, so we always had our first choice of seating. We took the back, where we sat in silence for a minute until we came up to the next stop – Butters' stop.

I looked over at Kenny and noticed he was wearing that wicked grin of his.

"I have a fun idea," he said chirpily, and I tried to hide my frown.

"C'mon, Kenny, let's just leave him alone." I received three shocked looks as I said that.

"Whoa, _you _want to be _nice _to someone?" Kyle said through a laugh, clearly disbelieving. I couldn't blame him, I did have a tendency to be... well... an asshole.

"Not nice," I said defensively – why on earth would you be defensive that you aren't nice? – as I frowned a bit more, "just not completely horrible."

"Fine, Cartman, have it your way," Kenny said sulkily, as he watched Butters get on the bus and send all of us a terrified glance. Kenny waved to him and Butters quickly sat down and shrunk into his seat so that we could only see the very top of his hair. "Scared little thing, isn't he?"

"Mmm... yeah...." I found my attention slipping as I was gazing at that bit of blonde hair I could see.

* * *

The day dragged on for what felt like ages, nothing more eventful happening than Stan throwing balled up pieces of paper at the math teacher every time she turned around to write on the blackboard. When at last the final bell rang, even though I wanted to sprint away from the stupid school, I hung around until everyone had left, giving quick goodbyes to my friends, even though we'd be seeing each other again in a couple mere hours.

Butters was always the last to leave, and I wanted to talk to him really badly.

"Butters?" He jumped at his name, he obviously didn't hear it very much unless it came from a British accent.

"Hi... Eric...."

"Look... Butters... a-about... yesterday...." I paused, biting my lip."I... I'm... I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE A FAG! HAHAHA!" Then I ran straight out the door, furious that I hadn't apologized like I so badly wanted to. But it was too late.

It was too late for the truth. Too late to tell him how I really feel. I kept running until something stopped me.

"Whoa, Cartman, cool down," Kenny's voice laughed a bit, he'd held his arm out to stop me. "You're a pretty good runner, why do you never put in that much effort in gym? Aren't your miles always like... thirty minutes?"

"Shut up, Kenny."

"What? It was a compliment... sort of."

"I hate you, Kenny."

"I love you too, Cartman," Kenny said as he rolled his eyes. "We missed the bus. I was _trying _to wait for you and then I noticed the bus left. What were you doing? It was only Butters there, have you decided to be normal again and tease him?"

"Er... yeah."

"You weren't saying _sorry _or anything, were you?" He asked me in an accusing tone. Why can he see through me so perfectly?

"Of course not," I snorted as if this was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Truthfully, I _hadn't _been apologizing to him, but Kenny could have no idea how bad that was making me feel.

"Well, we'd better start walking... it's going to take a while to get back home." Kenny said grudgingly as he looked out into the heavily falling snow. As he pulled the school's main door open, he swore loudly. "IT'S SO FUCKING COLD!"

"No kidding," I said as I stepped out into the freezing weather. I tried to not let my teeth chatter too loud, because I knew it'd make Kenny even more mad... as it was sort of my fault he'd missed the bus.

"Why do we have to live _here_?" He muttered, though I wasn't sure if he was really asking me.

"Because our parents do," I pointed out obviously, to which he threw me a dirty look.

"Your place is closer... can I just go to your house?"

"Sure, no problem...." I strained my eyes to try to see through the snow which was falling ever harder by the second. "...Kenny, where the hell are we?"

"Uhh... dunno, I can't see a thing anymore," he grabbed my hand and dragged me until we found a building, which we ran into, shaking the snow off of ourselves. A quick glance around told us immediately that we were in the movie theater.

"Hmm, so we aren't too far away, but it'll be hell walking through this."

"I hope the school bus crashes," Kenny said darkly, "because now I probably have frostbite. Even in South Park it doesn't normally snow _this _hard. My feet are _killing _me."

"Would you prefer if I carried you?" I asked sarcastically, but to my surprise Kenny jumped on my back.

"Piggy back good or would you prefer to carry me in your arms?"

* * *

I was amazed that I managed to get all the way home with Kenny plus the weight of his backpack on me. Whenever I tried to shake him off he only held on tighter.

"We're here, now get the hell off, Kenny!" I said as I pushed open my front door. I felt like I was going to die, but I couldn't help but laugh at that grin on Kenny's face.

"Haha, I know you liked carrying me around," he stuck out his tongue and then headed to my kitchen to raid the fridge.While Kenny got his food, I flopped down onto my couch and turned on the TV.

I was mindlessly flipping through channels when Kenny came back into the living room, a soda and a box of cookies with him. He sat down next to me, munching for a few quiet minutes, when the doorbell rang.

"Is it four already?" I said out loud, looking rather surprised as I glanced at my watch. "Well, I'll be..." I got up and opened the door, and Stan and Kyle both walked in.

"Wow, Cartman, I think that's the first time you've answered the door and not your mom," Kyle said with a laugh as he immediately joined Kenny on the couch, his eyes glued to the television. "Wanna play video games?" He said after he seemingly decided the show was boring.

"No _"So Cartman, why weren't you on the bus today?"_ or _"How are you?"_" I said with mock offense in my voice. I'd learned long ago though that they didn't care about me, they liked my mom's cooking and his vast collection of video games.

"Nope," said Stan as he pulled out one of the boxes from under my couch that held some of my video games, which he started flipping through. "Hey, is this one new?" He asked suddenly, as he pulled out a snowboard game.

"I got it last week," I said, but Stan had already put it in the Gamecube and had grabbed a controller. Kenny looked over at me and laughed.

"Well, I know what Stan'll be doing all night."

* * *

Butters had been driven completely out of my mind until we started getting tired and were getting ready to sleep. Kyle and Stan rolled out sleeping bags on the floor in my room, Kenny was laying on my bed.

I should really just buy him a freaking sleeping bag, he _always _sleeps in my bed with me. Poor piece of shit.

"Did you know Tweek's back on pot?" Kyle said as I got into my bed next to Kenny.

"Kyle, I don't care, gossiping is for chicks," I said as I shut my eyes, but that only made things worse, because now Butters' face was floating around in my mind. Why couldn't I think about anything besides him?! Kyle kept talking about Tweek anyways, but slowly his voice drowned out, and was replaced by a higher-pitched one.

"_Eric, I'm so happy to be with you!" Butters was saying, his face glowing with happiness as we walked side-by-side around Stark's Pond. "Nothing could spoil this day!"_ _Suddenly we both got quiet and stopped walking to face each other...._

"_Eric... did I ever tell you... I love you?" We were getting closer. Until... Stark's Pond vanished, and the scenery was suddenly flames instead of snow, demons circling around us. Just when we were about to finish the inch apart from each other, one of the demons starts laughing loudly. I looked more closely at the demon and saw that it was... me?_

"_YOU STUPID FAG! HAHAHAHA!" The demon version of myself was laughing, and Butters suddenly was laughing too, joining in making fun of me for being this way._

"_No! Butters! But... you are too! I LOVE YOU, BUTTERS!" I yelled, but he sneered._

"_I'm no gay-ass fag!" Butters snickered as he turned into a demon too, and he started circling around, laughing...._

_Laughing...._

_They're all laughing...._

_Why won't they stop laughing?_

The laughter stopped, and the cold eyes that had been sneering at me vanished into concerned blue ones. Kenny was wide-awake and staring intently at me, I was really surprised how worried he looked.

"Cartman... are you okay? You were muttering in your sleep... something about Butters... and Cartman, you were... _crying._" Kenny was whispering, still watching me with wide eyes.

I flushed. No... I couldn't have been. But I raised a hand to my face and I felt it. I felt the tears that had been rolling down my face.

"Kyle and Stan are both asleep... they didn't see," Kenny said softly still, and I was grateful. I never would've lived it down if they'd seen me cry. "Try to get some sleep, and have sweet dreams...."

He hugged me lightly, and I knew he was watching me until I fell back into a better sleep.

_Maybe he was a better friend than I normally gave him credit for._ _And maybe Kenny liked something about me other than my video games._


	3. Butters' POV

**A/N: **Okay... this is short... and rushed. Crap. That's what happened when you go so long without writing. But I said on my dA journal that I was going to start up with my fanfictions again, and I was true to my word. Be so kind as to review? (: Butters' point of view.

* * *

**chapter three**

"Pip, I need to stop caring about him," I announced over the phone to my friend. I didn't even need to say who "he" was; Pip knew, and he was probably rolling his eyes.

"Yes, you do." Way to be blunt. "I'll come over so we can talk in person, okay?"

"Sounds good... thanks, Pip," I said with a grateful smile. Hopefully he could hear the gratefulness in my voice. We hung up without saying goodbye, because he'd be over here in a matter of minutes. I lounged out on the couch while waiting for him, and he came in through the front door without knocking.

"Hello, Butters," he greeted as he sat down on the bit of couch I hadn't taken up. I sat up so that he could be more comfortable.

"Hey Pip!" I greeted happily, wishing I could speak without that stutter to people like Eric. Wait... no... but I didn't care about him anymore. Well, I'll keep telling myself that. Maybe it'll come true.

"Right to business... we need to find someone else for you to obsess over," Pip said with a laugh. I glared at him, but didn't really mean it. "What do you see in him, anyways?" Pip asked in a more serious tone, and I pondered the same thing.

What _did _I see in him?

"Umm... he's funny —"

"—Racial jokes—"

"—Intelligent—"

"—Are we talking about the same person?—"

"—Good looking—"

"—Is fat back in?"

I stopped talking, and thought about what I had just said, and what Pip had countered with. He was right, wasn't he? I didn't have any real reasons for liking him. I just... did. I looked at Pip and he was frowning a tiny bit.

"He doesn't deserve you, Butters. He doesn't deserve anyone."

And the sad thing was... Pip was probably right.

* * *

I thought about what Pip had said on Friday night as Monday morning dawned. I ran a comb through my hair, and told myself that I wouldn't even look at Eric Cartman at school, unless he approached me and I had to make a run for it. I hummed to myself as I got ready for school, promising myself that it would be a good day.

First way of avoiding Eric: walk to school. So I left my house early, my parents not even noticing, and made my way through the cold to get there. I got there before the buses, so I made my way to my first class, and didn't see him once. Things were actually going fine. Maybe it would keep up?

I'd made it all the way to lunch without looking at Eric once. But come the middle of me eating a hamburger, he walked over to the table where me and Pip were sitting, chatting about nothing in particular.

"Hey there, Butters," Eric said innocently, and Pip stood up.

"Go away, Cartman," Pip snapped quickly, and Eric shoved Pip back down into his seat.

"Not talking to you, you French piece of crap," he said before turning to me. "Let's talk this afternoon when he's not around. Meet me after the final bell at Stark's Pond." Without waiting for a response, he turned and went back to his table.

"Don't," Pip advised quickly, and I found myself nodding.

But I knew where I was going to be come three o'clock.

* * *

I couldn't help myself. Curiosity was dangerous. As I left my class, I said bye to Pip with the false promise I wouldn't go to meet Eric, but the second I left the school, instead of turning to walk home, I went to walk to the frozen-over pond. Already there was Eric, and there was no sight of his friends anywhere near him. But I knew that couldn't be true.

"Where's K-Kenny?" I asked, continuing to look around.

"He's not here, I just wanted to talk to you by myself," Eric replied, but I knew better than to trust him. They were around here somewhere, I knew it.

"Whatever..." I said, pretending to believe him, "so what did you want to t-talk to me about?" At least the stuttering wasn't _too _bad yet.

"I wanted to tell you something."

"What would that be, Eric?" I asked coldly. Was he going to tell me that I should curl up in a hole and die, or simply once again call me a fag?

"I'm gay, Butters."

Excuse me? I know he didn't just say that.

"What?"

"I'm gay, Butters," Eric said, and he was... blushing? "And I've always really liked you. I never meant to be such an asshole to you."

Oh, what a load of crap. He was just waiting for me to say something nice in reply so that he could start laughing. But I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

"Leave me alone, Eric."

With that, I turned and began to make my way home, unknowing that for once in his life Eric Cartman wasn't telling a lie.


End file.
